Promise Me Always Page 3

Knox

  It’s been years since I saw my little Rae of sunshine. Years since I felt whole again. When I was sent away it’s as if my heart was ripped out and left behind. I still hold resentment towards my mother over it, and as I watch her lay on her deathbed I don’t feel an ounce of guilt.

  When Josh died a part of her died too. My father didn’t want me to have to watch that and my mother couldn’t bear to look at her only remaining son. That summer I not only lost Josh but I lost her too. The girl I loved. My Raegan. She hung the moon and the stars. My universe revolved solely around her. The way I feel for her is like the saying ‘Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love laves a memory no one can steal’. Every memory I have is wrapped around my favorite blue eyed curly haired woman, who lives across the way.

  It’s taken years to convince my dad to let me come back. And now with my mother sick and my being eighteen he finally agreed. I told him I’d take care of my mother, but what I really wanted was to come back for my Raegan. Seeing her earlier today brought back that school boy crush I had on her all those years ago.

  When I first saw her sitting in the front row of Mr. Peter’s class I all but had a heart attack. I couldn’t believe it. There she was after years of waiting and wondering, my Raegan had turned into a beautiful woman. Her long brown hair fell in loose waterfall curls all the way down to the curve of her ass. She definitely grew up well. The little girl I used to chase around was not the woman I saw that day in class. Her tits were round and perky. Even hidden under that baggy purple sweater I could see all of her gorgeous curves. My girl could hide from everyone else but there was no way she was hiding from me.

  When I finally got the chance to talk to her I was surprised at what a spit fire she turned into. She used to be a little lamb but that day she was nothing but a fierce lion. She was angry with me, and that she should be. I left her all alone. I left her with that bastard and sorry excuse of a mother. We were all each other had and I ruined it for both of us.

  I watched her like a creep through my bedroom window that night. Saw her working at her desk for hours. She was always so smart. It was something I always envied. I watched as she changed into her pajamas. First went her sweater and then her jeans. The shorts that she put on barley covered her ass cheeks and made my dick hard as a rock. I couldn’t help but stare all the way up until her light turned out.

  I didn’t plan on playing the flashlight game but when I found it in my bedside drawer I couldn’t help it. I wanted to worm my way back into her heart and drudging up old memories seemed to be the place to start. I expected her to reply but my girl is too stubborn. I should have known she’d play hard to get. One way or another she’s going to learn I’m not giving up on her or us. No one including her psychopathic step daddy is going to get in the way of that.

  Sneaking through the back fence was hard enough. You never realize how truly big you are until you try to squeeze your six foot three frame through a tiny wooden fence. I did what I always did and crept across her yard right over to the big oak tree outside her window. I knew her well enough to know she always kept it unlocked. She was always ready to make a run for it to escape if need be.

  As I tripped through her window I almost laughed at the surprise written across her face. She didn’t answer my question. She should have known I’d show up. Any excuse I could come up with just to see her again. Third times a charm.

  She was beautiful when angry and at that moment god was she mad. She doesn’t know it yet but I see beneath all the hatred she has bottled up and I know that I have the ability to break down her walls. Each and every one of them.

  I couldn’t help but back her up against the wall and breathe her in. I needed to touch her and taste her without coming on too strong. She let me trail my fingers across her shoulder, to her collar bone, up her slender neck all the way up to her cheek. She didn’t push me away when I came in close and whispered how beautiful she was. She was heated and needy but refused to let her true emotions show. She wasn’t used to me anymore, wasn’t used to any sort of attention and I wanted to give it all to her. I have this bottled up need deep inside and it has her name written all over it. I’ve spent years dreaming about the woman she would become and she’s everything I dreamed of and more.

  It’s been almost a week since I kissed the tender spot below her ear. I couldn’t help myself. All the pent up emotions over the past years pushed me to do it. Almost a week since I heard her alluring voice. She’s been ignoring me, running at the first chance she gets. But I’ve been watching her, protecting her from afar. I watch the other kids in school snicker and laugh when she walks by and as soon as she’s out of ear shot I put a stop to it.

  Raegan doesn’t deserve their shit. No one in this entire building would be able to put up with the shit she deals with at home, so they have no room to judge her. I’ve seen the bruises, burns and scars. A grown ass man wouldn’t even be able to take that shit.

  Its second period and I know enough to know she has P.E. it’s like I’ve turned into some sort of stalker. Waiting outside of the locker room for her is torture. One by one I watch every other girl come out and look me up and down. It doesn’t matter how hard they try there’s only one woman I want. The only one who draws my attention.

  I let out a sigh of relief when she finally walks through the locker room door.

  “Raegan wait up!” I yell as she tries to scurry off. I watch her ass sway from side to side as she hurries away but no matter how fast I’ll always catch her. “Rae wait!” my hand sneaks out like a snake and grips her side for only a minute, I let go as soon as I see her wince in pain. Not again!

  “What do you want Knox?” Her words are rushed as she speaks. I try to find her eyes but there currently focusing on anything but me. Dammit.

  “I haven’t seen you in a few days Rae, where’ve you been?” I lie. I’ve seen her every day from the moment I first got back in town.

  “Exactly where I always am, school and home.” she tries to bypass me, seemingly ending our little conversation but I refuse to let her go so quickly.

  “What happened to your side?” I question, knowing full well her stepdaddy put his hands on her again.

  “Slipped in the shower is all.” Her cheeks light up red as she starts to fiddle with the scar on her left hand, a tell all that she’s lying to me.

  “The same shower that burned your hand when we were kids?” I nod towards her hand and she slips it behind her back just as fast.

  “Is there something you wanted Knox?” she lets out an exasperated sigh. “I have to go work on my English project.” I don’t let it show that I know exactly where she was going. I’d seem like a goddamn stalker, hell when it comes to her I guess I’m nothing but.

  “Can I come?” I ask, hoping to god she’ll say yes.

  “You want to go work on my English project with me?” she sounds surprised, but little does she know I’d do anything just to be near her. I spent too many years being without her. It’s time to start making up for lost time.

  I shake my head yes. “Yeah why not it’s not like Mrs. Sawyer will even know I’m gone.”

  “Fine, let’s go. I need all the extra time I can get.” She huffs and puffs as she leads the way and I can’t help the smile that pulls at my lips. One step at a time.

  ∞∞∞

  “What’s wrong with you kid?” Mr. Dugal asks as I have my head currently tucked deep into the engine of a beat up Chevy Nova. At the sound of his voice I drop the wrench, and it falls to the floor with a loud clank.

  “God Dammit!” I say as I crouch beneath the engine in search of the missing tool.

  “Knox!” his voice comes out like a loud speaker causing me to slam my head on the engine hood.

  “Fuck Mr. Dugal what was that all about?” I set the wrench down on the tool box beside us and grab a rag to wipe my hands off.

  “I asked you a question boy, I expect an answer. Now what’s with all the fussing?” I take in his round head sprinkled
with thin salt and pepper hair topped off with a large potbelly and a dirty old pair of blue jeans. He looks exactly how the owner of a mechanic shop would look… old and worn out.

  “Nothings up, just trying to get this bad boy up and running. We got a long line of car’s out there waiting their turn, just trying to stay a head of the game.” I lie. In all reality all I can think about is Raegan and apparently it’s starting to affect my work.

  “When your daddy asked me to give you a job here he said you we’re anything but a liar.” His voice is stern and commands attention. I give him the decency and respect he deserves and finally look him in the eye.

  “Just dealing with some personal shit, I’ll try to keep it out of the work place.” He seems to contemplate my words, like he might actually let my sorry excuse slide.

  “Well if any of this personal shit revolves around a girl, I got over fifty years of experience and advice.” He starts to walk away only to continue talking. “You ever need anything kid, you know where to find me. And call me John, Mr. Dugal was my dad’s name.” I watch his back as he retreats to his small cramped office and get back to work. It’s hard to concentrate when my minds in another place, but I push through and get the work done. Mr. Dugal gave me a job without any hesitation or question. I owe it to him to make sure my work is good and honest. I always loved working with my hands and helping my buddies rebuild their cars. I never thought I could make some sort of career out of it but looking at Mr. Dugal I see a future I thought I’d never have.

  A few hours later I check my phone hoping for Raegan, knowing she doesn’t even have a phone. I know where my first stop after work will be. I can’t stand not knowing if she’s alright. Constantly worrying if our last conversation will be the last one we ever have. I’ve been back for just over a week and already she’s invaded my very being, right down to my fucking soul. It happened when I was eleven, and it’s happening now some eight years later.

  Chapter 5

  Raegan

  Any normal teenager on a Friday night would be out with friends or partying, I on the other hand am not. But I guess I’m nowhere near normal. I’ve spent the last two hours at the public library working on this English project. I didn’t even make a dent in it during free period earlier. Having a sexy man sitting next to you staring the whole time can really affect your concentration. His eyes penetrated my body right down to my very soul. His body heat wrapped around me like a mid-summers sun and I basked in it. Having Knox with me was a welcome distraction considering I had no idea where to start this stupid project.

  Once the clock struck four I decided it was best to head home. As Kurt would say dinner isn’t going to make itself. The walk home is cold and the freezing air burns my lungs with every single breath I take. It’s mid-January and the spring weather can’t come soon enough. The thin piece of fabric I use as a jacket does absolutely nothing to keep me warm. I’m shivering down to the bone.

  When I finally walk through the front door I sigh in relief. The warm air engulfs me, wrapping around me like a soft blanket. Moms on the couch as usual, a lit cigarette stuck in between her pointer and middle finger. I put it out and make my way into the kitchen and get to work. Another hour later I’m wrapping it up and leaving it in the fridge for Kurt whenever he gets home. It’s Friday which means tomorrows his day off. All the more reason for him to stay out later than usual. Lucky for me.

  When I open my bedroom door a cold breeze tickles its way down my spine. The curtains sway in the wind and the window’s cracked open a few inches. Odd. Just as I’m as I go to close it I notice something placed on my pillow. A small black device with a note attached.

  Raegan,

  Flashlights are for little kids. Thought it was time we start being adults. – Your favorite person ever.

  Of course it was Knox. I’m annoyed, and angry, and maybe even a little flattered. The brand new cell phone is way more than I could ever afford. I’m annoyed I won’t be able to pay him back, and even more annoyed I’m going to have to march my ass next door and give it back to him… right after I fiddle with it first.

  I scroll through the different screens, Weather App, Calculator, Facebook all the way until I find the tiny thumbnail labeled Contacts. There’s only one entered, it’s the only one I’d ever need if I we’re going to keep this phone. You’re Favorite Person Ever ;). It’s the one and only contact. It makes me smile for a moment, but not long enough to forget I have to give it back to him.

  I throw my shoes on and stuff the little black phone in my back pocket and march on over to Knox’s house. Squeezing through the fence is a struggle. I can only imagine how Knox was able to squeeze his large body through the tiny little fence rungs. My hearts beating like a wild animal trapped in a cage the closer I get to his porch door. All you have to do is knock and hand the phone back. I say to myself. All sense of self confidence leaves me as soon as I’m standing directly in front of the old screen door. Somewhere in my distant memory I can hear the laughter of a boy and girl playing tag and running inside once starts to rain.

  “Hey that’s cheating!” I yell as Knox grabs onto my shirt yelling “Tag” as loud as he can.

  “No it’s not Rae, there aren’t any rules in tag!” he stops running and stares at me. It’s all part of the plan. I’m a master at tag and I always seem to win. I’m like a predator stalking its prey, biding my time by getting him to stop and talk to me.

  “Yeah huh! You can’t just tag me like that! I wasn’t even ready.” I pout and he takes a step closer to me. Knox always give’s into me when I make my pouting face. Just where I want him! Like a snake I whip my hand out and slap his arm. “Tag you’re it!” I yell, giggling while I run away. He seems momentarily stunned but starts to chase me as soon as the first rain drop falls. The sky lets loose an angry storm of pelting rain drops and soon enough we’re covered in mud and rain from head to toe.

  “Mercy! Mercy!” I yell as Knox latches on to me.

  “I win!” he exclaims, and just this once I let him have this victory. “You wanna go inside and play war?” he asks as rain drops pour down his cheeks and run off of his chin. His clothes are soaked and dirty matching mine perfectly.

  “Sure, but only for a little while I have to be home soon. And I want to be the dealer this time!” I follow him inside with a smile on my face. Knox’s house is my favorite. It’s warm and safe and smells like apples.

  “Raegan?” the spell is broken when Knox’s gruff voice breaks my trance. He seems startled and confused. “You alright? Here come in.” he steps aside gesturing me to come in and reluctantly I do. Looking around the kitchen I take in all of the familiar surroundings. Apple wall paper wraps around the kitchen completely, with a bowl of fresh apples sitting on the counter top. it’s exactly as I remember.

  “What’s up?” Knox seems genuinely confused. Like he didn’t break into my bedroom and leave an expensive phone laying on my pillow.

  “I can’t accept this.” I say. I pull the phone from my pocket and hold it out to him. He just stares at it with his bright emerald orbs gleaming directly at me. I see the mischievous glint in then and know I’m screwed.

  “Yes, Rae you can.” He rolls his eyes in utter annoyance just before turning away to grab a glass of water. What a jerk! “I bought it for you.” The way he says it is like a duh moment.

  “No I can’t. I can’t pay you back Knox. You should have thought of that when you bought it, now you have to go return it.” I set it on the counter and he finally picks it up.

  “Too late for that it’s already yours. I won’t take it back and you’re not going to give it to me. You want to know why that is Rae?” he takes a step towards me as his eyes grow slightly darker. He doesn’t even give me a chance to answer. Just backs me up right against the counter until he’s caging me in. His arms are on both sides locking me in tight. I can’t help but stare at him like a bear caught in a trap.

  “We’re not little kids anymore Rae, we’re not going to play some fuc
king flashlight game. I want… No I need you to take this phone and I need you to text me when it’s late at night. I need you to tell me when you’re okay and when you’re not. I want you to call me when you’re mad, sad, or so fucking hot and needy you just need to hear my voice. I don’t care what it is. You’re going to take this phone and be a good little girl and do as I say.” His words hold a lot of force, leaving absolutely no room for argument. His words are coated with want and need. A slow burning ache starts to form in the depth of my core.

  I can’t help the feelings he’s stirred up inside of me or my heart beat that seems to be pounding out of my chest like a bass drum. I can only nod in agreement. I’m not about to push away the one person who seems to give a shit about me.

  He moves closer so we’re pressed tight against each other. The fabric of his T-Shirt rubs against my thin sweater. His breathing is coming out in ragged breaths no doubt matching my own. My hands are by my side but my fingertips reach out and graze his hips on their own accord. A spark of desire flashes through the storm brewing in his shadowy emerald eyes.

  I watch in anticipation as he drags his fingertips all the way up my arms until they stop at my cheeks, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. His large hands cup my face, tilting my head at just the right angle. His lips descend on mine in an agonizingly slow manner.

  I feel the brush of his lips against mine and instantly close my eyes. He presses harder against my hips and I feel myself press back against him. My mind is telling me to proceed with caution but my body is on a whole different level.

  The moment his tongue swipes against my bottom lip I’m lost to him. It’s the deciding factor. Either jump off the bridge or don’t. I make the decision right here and now that I’d jump off any bridge or do anything for Knox Caedance Blackburn. Always have, always will. Years of separation hasn’t changed a thing, no matter how much I have tried to deny it.

  His hands tangle in my hair sealing my lips against his. Our tongues mangle and mesh together preforming an intricate dance of their own. He leaves no crevice untouched. His breath is minty and mixed slightly with oranges. It’s completely intoxicating. His hands leave my hair and start to travel all around my aching body.