Secrets We Keep Read online

  Secrets We Keep

  B.K. LEIGH

  Copyright

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are the product of the authors imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

  Copyright © 2021 B.K. Leigh. All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce, distribute, or transmit in any form or by any means.

  ISBN: 9798729856947

  Dedication

  For Steve. There’s a little bit of you in every character.

  Prologue

  My life has been made up of bad choices, and even worse decisions. Things so minuscule you’d never think they’d have any sort of affect on your future, but they do, and the impact you’re forced to face is a much harder pill to swallow.

  One night was all it took for my world to be completely turned upside down. Everything I had known for the past eighteen years had been ripped out from underneath of me. And the worst part of it all? My parents had to pay the ultimate price. Both of them gone. All because of the bad decisions I had made. Regret sucks, and the amount of guilt I feel is enough to bury me six feet under.

  “What are you drinking?” Que my first bad decision of the night. At the sound of the gruff masculine voice I look up from the empty tumbler in my hand and take in the most fine male specimen I have ever seen. It takes a moment to pry my eyes away from his, before I’m finally able to take the rest of him in. Square face, jawline cut from stone, and lips so sinful he could be the devil himself. His head is covered in thick black hair, dancing around in little waves all wayward and crazy. What gets me the most is the way his eyes stare back at mine. They’re the most piercing blue I have ever seen. There has to be at least a thousand different hues of blue all wrapped together like a present. They’re like marbles, and tie dye, swirling together to create the most magnificent color known to man.

  “Whatever you’re buying.” Inwardly I cringe. Could I sound anymore cliche? For a quick second my eyes dart around the packed night club, searching for the one person who could either save me, or interrupt one of the best nights I could possibly have. It’s up in the air at this point. Much like my life.

  “Two Rum and Cokes please.” He flags down the bartender and gives him our order. I can’t take my eyes off of the way he commands attention, and not only from me. Or the way his Adams apple bobs up and down as he speaks. The best part of all of this is the way his voice rolls over my entire body. It’s raspy and masculine, and as deep as the ocean.

  “Thank you.” I tell him as he places a now full tumbler in front of me. I take a sip of the dark concoction and hum in satisfaction as it burns it’s way down my throat, settling into a pool of fire deep within my belly.

  “You want to tell me why a pretty girl like you is sitting here at a bar all by herself?” He questions with a wicked glimmer in his eyes.

  “Maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” I shrug. “What’s it to you?” I wink. Did I really just wink?

  “Maybe I’m just trying to see how good my chances are.” His eyes flare.

  “For what?”

  “For being the lucky guy that gets to take you home tonight.” His eyes dip down to my chest, stomach, legs, and if I were standing up would no doubt land on my ass. When Cohen decided to drag me into this club tonight he told me I needed to let loose and live a little. Be the girl I used to be. Well here she is.

  “I paid over a hundred dollars for these kick-ass ID’s and you’re just letting them go to waste.” Cohen lays the guilt on hard.

  “I just don’t feel like going tonight, Co.” I shrug. “You know how Haley is, she’ll be rip shit if I stay out all night again.”

  “You can’t spend the entire summer being a recluse. I need my wing man back. Haley can chill for tonight. I mean what’s the worse she can do? It’s not like she’ll send you back early.” He huffs out. The more he speaks the more my resolve begins to crack.

  “I don’t know.” I say unsure.

  “Come on, Tate. We can’t spend the last summer before senior year doing nothing.”

  “Ugh, fine!” I crack completely. “But we need to be back before Haley gets home from work!” I say with a threatening tone.

  “Maybe.” I say again, a small smile forms on my lips. He takes a giant gulp of his drink, almost emptying the glass in one swig.

  “I’ll take whatever I can get.” He winks and I swear my panties melt at the sight.

  “So what about you?” I ask as soon as I can find my voice again.

  “What about me?” Now it’s his turn to play hard to get. I roll my eyes.

  “Why is a sexy man like you in a club all alone? Or are you just flirting with me while you wait for your girlfriend to get here?” I’m baiting him and he knows it. The real motive behind that question is just to figure out if Mr. Sexy And He Knows It has a girlfriend I should be aware of. I may be trying to be the old Tatum tonight, but even she doesn’t mix well with ex girlfriends. He takes one last sip of his drink before leaning in close, his lips just a centimeter away from my ear.

  “Don’t worry, sweetheart.” He whispers huskily. “I don’t have a girlfriend, and you bet your fine little ass I’m going to be the one taking you home tonight.” He winks as he pulls away. I feel his words all the way down to my core. My heart stops and my throat runs dry. I swear if he were to say anything more I’d melt right here and now. His words sink into my skin, directly into my veins, and flow freely throughout my body leaving goosebumps to erupt and surface on every inch of my skin.

  “Do you want to dance?” I ask in a sultry voice as I push my chest out. I think of Cohen’s advice from earlier, and channel my inner old self.

  “That depends.” I watch as he rolls the ice around in his glass. Only he can manage to make that simple movement seem so attractive.

  “On what?” I quirk an eyebrow.

  “How old are you?” He asks throwing me off guard. For the first time in the past ten minutes I find myself questioning the same thing. His body is built from years of hard work, or could that be the gym? Glancing at his hands I see old calluses and clean fingernails. Whatever he did before, must not be what he does now. He has the body of a man, and the stature of a Greek God. He is definitely not my age, but then again no one in this club besides Cohen is. I wouldn’t guess he were more than thirty, but I’ve been wrong before.

  “Old enough.” I say as I bat my eyelashes and give him a sweet innocent smile. “Besides, didn’t you just say you were gonna take me somewhere?” I pretend to have already forgotten about his proposal, and I can see the way his eyes shine with mischief.

  “Tonight I’m going to choose to believe that.” He sets his glass on the bar top. “Because the thoughts running through my head right now are probably more illegal than your age.” He lets out a breath just before taking my elbow and whisking me off of the bar stool. My arm tingles from his touch. As if a spark of electricity runs freely from his fingers directly into my veins. It’s a heady feeling of lust and want running through my body. Staring at the stranger before me, there’s no doubt in my mind I want the exact same thing as him.

  The tiny black dress I have painted on hangs just below my ass, and the way his eyes flare with appreciation tells me just how much he approves. We make our way through the thick crowd until we’re smack dab in the middle of the dance floor. It takes only seconds for our bodies to entwine and connect. We don’t use words, just let our bodies do the speaking for us. The alcohol in my veins has my eyes closing as I wrap my arms around his neck, swaying and grinding my ass against him to the beat.

  “You’re killing me.” He whispers into my ear, and even though the music is blaring around us, his words are the only ones
I hear. I turn around in his arms so we’re face to face and smile from ear to ear.

  “What’s your name?” I ask him. His blue eyes have me trapped. A snare so tight I don’t think even the Jaws of Life could break me out.

  “Killian.” If I wasn’t wet before, lord knows I am now. I smile as I tip my chin upwards and go in for the kill. The minute our lips connect it’s like an explosion. The lazy and flirty grinding we were doing before magnifies ten fold. My hands dig into his hair as his tongue devours my mouth. My breath was lost a long time ago, and right now Killian seems to be my entire lifeline. His strong arms keep me from falling over in my sky high heels, and melting into a puddle of mush on the floor. The minute he laid those eyes on me I knew I was a goner.

  We’re so close, no one can see where my hands begin to travel to. As our tongues wage a war of their own, I slide my hand down his chest until it rests just above the zipper on his jeans. Judging by how hard he is right now, I can tell he’s huge. With a little liquid courage fueling my hormones I dip my hand beneath the coarse material and slide my palm over the cotton of his boxers. Oh yeah, he’s definitely huge.

  “Hey wait.” He pulls away from our kiss and I’m ashamed of the needy noise that escapes my throat as he does so. His hand lands on mine stopping me from going further. “Not here.” His voice comes out strained, as if our small make out session might leave him with a serious set of blue balls if we don’t take care of business soon. My frustration grows by the minute the longer we’re not touching, completely molded together. “Killian.” It comes out as a warning.

  “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll take care of you real soon.” He whispers into my ear. My body is doing all sorts of crazy things just being in his proximity, and I don’t think it’s the alcohol. My skin is on fire, my heart is beating out of my chest, and my core is throbbing with need. It’s torture, and exhilarating all wrapped in one.

  He takes my hand after righting the hem of my very short dress, and practically drags me through the crowd. I stumble once or twice but he always manages to catch me just as I’m about to go down. The crowd thins out as we get further and further from the dance floor. He turns right at a bright red exit sign and leads me down a dark and dingy hallway. He opens a door next and practically slams me against the grainy wood with all of his body weight.

  “What’s your name?” He asks. It comes out desperate, a clear sign his need is mimicking my own.

  “Tatum.” My eyes roll backward and my head falls to the side as his lips connect with the supple skin on my neck. They latch on and don’t let go for what feels like hours. Always licking, biting, sucking.

  “Now’s your chance, sweetheart.” His lips devour mine in the next second before he breaks away all too quickly. “If you don’t say no now, I won’t be able to stop.” He warns as his hands travel down to my ass, kneading the soft flesh, then trail to the thin band of my silk thong.

  “I want to.” I say breathlessly. “I need to.” I want to tell him it’s him I need. That he’s made me feel more in the last hour than I’ve felt in the past six months. His kiss has ignited a spark inside my soul. Just the simple touch of his fingers and lips against my skin has my body aching and my core clenching. I’ve never believed in love at first sight, never have, never will. But if this moment right here is as close to believing in that as I get then I’ll let it be. I’ll live in the moment and just be.

  “I wont be gentle.” He tries to warn me once more, but instead I take it as a promise. A promise for what’s to come, and I can’t freaking wait.

  “I don’t want gentle.” A moan bubbles up my throat as he slides a finger over my core, and his tongue assaults mine.

  “Wrap your legs around my waist.” He taps my butt with urgent need as I do as he says. His strong chest pins me between him and the wall, making me feel weightless. His arms grip my ass as his tree trunk legs keep us balanced and upright. One hand holds us together as the other tangles in my hair. As soon as I let go of his neck I go straight for his jeans, tearing at the zipper until it finally slides down. I grip onto his cock as if my life depends on it, working him until he’s completely hard and rigid, even more so than he already was. I remove his shaft from his jean clad cage, maneuvering around his tight boxers, and stare in awe at the sheer size of him. I was right before when I said he was huge.

  “You like what you see, sweetheart?” I nod my head as I continue to work my hand up and down his length. My dress is now above my waist, exposing my entire lower half to him. By the look in his hooded eyes, there’s no doubt it’s exactly what he wants.

  “Killian, come on.” I practically plead as I encourage him to move forward. To bring us both to the place we want to be. The edge of bliss that seems so close, yet so far away.

  “Hope you’re ready, sweetheart.” One last warning before he takes his length in his hand and lines it up to my center. In one hard push he enters me completely. He stills for what seems like forever, when I know it’s only been a few seconds. “Why didn’t you tell me.” He asks through gritted teeth as his entire body goes rigid. I’d answer him, if I wasn’t desperately trying to hide the burning pain coursing through my insides. “You need to answer me.” He barely manages as he’s still fully inside of me.

  “You didn’t ask.” I tell him honestly. Okay, so maybe I left one small detail about tonight’s plans out. And maybe I didn’t want to even think about it, as soon as mine and Cohen’s plan started to work out. Que bad decision number two. Lose your virginity to a stranger at night club. The only good part? The stranger before me is Killian. The man I’ve known for all of an hour and seemed to have completely turned my entire world upside down. Deep down I know this is a one time thing, and I’m okay with that. Which is why Killian is still deeply rooted inside of me.

  “That’s something you should have told me, sweetheart.” He says through clenched teeth, and a hint of anger.

  “Please, Killian. Please, keep going.” I beg him trying to end the conversation and continue what we started. His eyes are filled with guilt mixed with confused anger. He looks like he’s battling a war within himself. Torture of the greatest kind.

  My lips connect with his, and I swear I can feel the minute his resolve breaks. He pulls out slowly before going back in. As if he’s trying not to hurt me. I’m not going to lie and say it doesn’t still burn, but I can see it in the distance, euphoria awaits. I’ll be damned if we don’t make it there. I know deep down inside, he wants it just as badly too. As his hips move faster, the pain inside begins to morph into something else. Something more enjoyable. Something that resembles a little too much like pleasure.

  “Oh fuck, Tatum.” My body hums in pleasure the minute my name rolls off of his tongue. This grown fine piece of man is crying out my name, and right about now it feels like the biggest of all accomplishments.

  “Please don’t stop.” I beg as his hips continue to drive into me.

  “I’m not going to last much longer, sweetheart.” Every time he calls me that my heart somersaults inside my chest.

  “Please, Killian.” My voice is small and breathy. Just barely more than a soft moan. Killian pulls my dress above my head and instantly latches his lips onto my naked nipple. Okay, so maybe my first bad decision of the night was deciding to not wear a bra. The feeling is incredible. As if every nerve on my body is on fire, burning for the need to be touched by him. My core begins to tighten as he sucks on my nipple, and drives his hips into me as if his life depends on it. He’s an animal right now. Not one bit the man I met at the bar only an hour ago, and the worst thing of all is I’m completely turned on by it. My body is completely out of my control at this point. I’m completely at his mercy.

  “Please tell me you’re at least on the pill.” He rushes out through bated breath.

  “Yes!” It’s a mix between passion and ecstasy. It’s not a lie though. It may be one of the only truths I’ve told tonight. My mother put me on the pill back when I was fourteen, back when my period
cramps were the death of me. Being on it has been manageable, and up until this point I didn’t think I’d get another use out of it.

  “Oh fuck!” He swears as his hips spasm out of control, and I’m tipped completely over the edge.

  “Oh my god!” I call out as my insides begin to clench and my thighs begin to shake. The feeling of euphoria rips through my veins, and swims through my blood like a disease eating me alive.

  “Say my name, sweetheart.” He takes my lips against his before talking again. “Not God.” He shakes his head from side to side.

  “Killian.” I moan as the feeling enveloping my body begins to fade away. A sudden rapid banging clears the fog from my head.

  “What the hell?” Killian tears his lips from mine, taking my last breath away with him.

  “No!” I cry. My legs drop from his waist the minute he pulls out. All of the body heat between us dissipates leaving me cold and gasping for breath,

  “TATUM!” A voice yells through the other side of the door.

  “What the hell?” I say through the fog in my head.

  “TATUM!” A fist bangs against the door causing me to jump against Killian’s chest.

  “Is that your boyfriend?” He practically spits. Every emotion from what we just did quickly dissolves. “Do you have a boyfriend?” He steps away from me as if he’s just been burned.

  “TATUM!” The voice yells again. “I can hear you in there!” I throw a hand up to my mouth and curse the man on the other side of the door. Out of all the times to rescue me he had to pick right now.

  “No I don’t! I swear!” I step towards Killian on shaky legs, but he still keeps his distance. The door finally bursts open and in comes Cohen practically falling at my feet.

  “Tate!” He picks himself up. “We gotta go now!” Cohen grips my wrist and starts to pull me away. It’s like a scene from the movies where the girl is wrenched away from her one true love at the worst possible time.

  “Cohen, stop!” I try to tear my arm away but his grip is firm. My eyes connect one last time with Killian’s just as I’m pulled from the room, leaving my heart and him in it.